The Gift of Presence
Presence, the ability to be in the moment without distraction, is a sacred gift. This time of year, I am reminded of my own face-to-face encounters with this mystery.
Both of my parents passed away in the days just before and after the Thanksgiving holiday weekend. Their deaths were under very different circumstances. Dad suffered an unexpected stroke and died a few days later. Mom battled colorectal cancer for more than a year so her death was not a surprise.
Why Presence Matters
Most of us are aware of the power of presence.
From an early age, our ego feels the need to maintain control of its environment and many of us spend our days protecting the status quo. Death has a way of confronting us with just how limiting this view of the world can be.
It felt helpless and vulnerable to simply sit with my dying parents at their bedsides. I knew I couldn’t change the circumstances or influence the outcome. Their labored breathing was a constant reminder of the fragile nature of life. I searched in vain for signs they might recognize my voice or touch.
A Lesson for Leaders
Most leaders I know seem wired for activity and take pleasure in preparing, doing, or fixing. Few of us surrender to the quiet presence that is needed to think clearly and make wise choices. We are uncomfortable with who we are and where we need to experience healing.
Yet, our presence in the moment is a gift to every person we encounter.
It might be an employee, a customer, or a vendor who needs our full attention and empathy. Perhaps it is our soul that needs a break from the distractions competing for every second of each day.
Both of my parents knew how to be present with others. They were generous with their time and frequently prayed for those they encountered throughout the day.
Presence isn’t earned by one’s position or power. It’s being able to know what you need to know and seeing what you need to see.
A parent’s passing changes one’s life forever but it has also taught me a valuable lesson about the sacredness of presence. I hope dad and mom felt my presence as the only gift I could offer in their final moments.
How might we, as leaders, avoid the distractions of our busy days and find time for the one thing that makes all other things real—being present for others?
Photo Credit: istockphoto.com
