Practicing the Art of Silence

For too many leaders, silence is not a means of communication. When attending a meeting or engaging in conversation they are typically busy making their point.

Does having a lot to say mean you are the smartest person in the room? Is that how we measure intelligence?

Another Perspective

When on a sales call or in a client coaching session, I try to practice the art of silence by asking a question and waiting patiently for the other person to respond. Sometimes that pregnant pause seems to last a lifetime. However, it is a necessary discipline if I’m going to learn anything in response to my initial query.

If you ask me a question, but don’t allow time for reflection, I will keep my thoughts to myself. I need to analyze inquiries and formulate a logical response. There are plenty of others just like me.

Practicing silence is also necessary for persons who are more feeling focused. Their emotions might overwhelm any ability to describe how they are feeling. They may also be more reserved in sharing their ideas so being pressured to speak only makes them more anxious.

Intentional silence can also allow body language to speak for you. This is another powerful way to communicate. An appropriate nod of the head, empathetic eye contact, or a knowing smile can demonstrate your level of engagement without uttering a word of response.

During challenging coaching conversations, I sometimes find myself at a loss for words. In these cases, silence becomes a valuable ally. While silence does the heavy lifting, the emotions of that moment can be processed more authentically for both the speaker and the listener.

One More Thing

Leaders may also struggle with practicing silence because they are missing the speaker’s motivations. Ignoring this simple detail, sends a message that you don’t care about what the other person has to say.

It seems long overdue for leaders to learn how to practice the art of silence. Today’s public figures seem more enamored with how much they have to say and how often they get to say it. Maybe that is why our opinion of them is often so low.

I hope my point is clear.

Having nothing to say doesn’t mean you aren’t communicating.

It just might be the most valuable gift you can offer in the moment.

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